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Sunday, 14 June 2009

its been awhile

im not even sure what to say lol
according to the last blog-i was going out on a date. which was awesome.
the guy was cool. he kissed me- that was sweet lol
we hung out a couple times after but hes not a relationship person. so helllz no.
the kyle guy stopped talking to me bc well- i didnt want him around anymore. he started saying stupid stuff and it was irritating so- no.
hmm the cory guy i still talk to. im still good friends with- whether thats good for us or not. lol he finally brought me around some of his friends. took him..8 months. hah. oh! funny how things turn out i must say.
so i liked cory inn the beginning and he rejected twice bc he didnt want to 'ruin' me. so i gave up on him as a bf and continued being a friend. it really aint that hard. i dont have any feelings for him more than a friend or f-buddy. which -for me- is awesome to admit. but now i feel bad bc hes trying to not have feelings for me. and i told him itd be real useless to bc he already killed any possibilities of me liking him like that again. so. lets hope this doesnt turn out TOO bad.
i really wish the black would wash out enough so i could go to a salon and get it dyed to a more- suitable color. lol
oh- im going to myrtle beach for a wedding this week. im so glad i get a couple days off from work. ugh boss is getting crazy lol but im excited. i love dresses.. tehe
not too much else to say. ChiChi and Goku are doing good [mouse&chinchilla] fish are still irritating since the two keep pickin on my baby =/ JayJay still has a damn ear infection. hes had it for like 6 months now. it just wont go away.
i think this post should be long enough. soo. yeah. im sure theres spelling errors but im way to effin lazy to check&correct them >.<

haha happy sunday!

Thursday, 02 April 2009

semi-first time for everything haha

so my cousin Ally is coming out tomorrow. she is bringing her boyfriend along with her and we all plan on going to see a movie. well her bf is bringing his friend. as a double date for me.
so a blind date. like the title says- first time for everything. lol
so im kinda excited. havent been on a date in over a month. and i guess hes actually 18 too. so yeeaaa...
it should be fun =)

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

K~ "I'm trying to figure out what you want to plan my course of woeing.Put it this way- you show an astrange characteristic i like and rarely find in anybody especially one that's very cute like yourself."
J~ "An astrange characteristic???"
K~ "one not normally projected in normality trust me its a good thing"
J~ "Any chance you could.. tell me what it is? my curiousity is taking over now."
K~ "you care to learn. you have projected to others my abnormal intellects and at the same time shown interest even sometimes it be opposing your views. my passion is epistrmology and when ever some one take interest in it [like you] that is for more arousing then anything i could imagine"
J~ "wowza O.o"
K~ "you asked i answered"
J~ "yes you did. now im jusrt thinking about it since its true O.o"
K~ "im glad you agree with me"
J~ "i love to learn. i think i can only date someone who i could eventually learn from. otherwise its extremely boring for me. i dont want to learn from the internet or anything. just from people. which is why your beliefs dont piss me off like they used to. i just kinda want to analyze how/what/why/etc about that stuff. idk anybody else who thinks the way you do hahaha"
K~ "omg we would be nearly perfect together. i love to express my ideaology so others understand but i also like others who minutely or largely object to my ideaology."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This was a talk i had with my friend kyle. felt like putting it somehwere somewhat private- and where better than an xanga blog? lol

Sunday, 25 January 2009

its been approx a month since the last blog sooo figured i should update
the guy i was referring to in the last blog; said something like this to me last night
"we cant keep this thing we have going on like this at work, with all the blushing and laughing and jokes. so im gunna lay out for you. you think im cute, i think youre cute. you like me and the feelings are mutual.. soo what do we do now?"
and i didnt think i really heard him correctly bc it was 2am and i was slap happy and being a goof on the phone cuz i was at my friends house. and i had him repeat it bc with how he started it i thought it was going to be another one of those 'we should just be friends' and then you never hang out again. so i was incredibly throw off and told him to repeat it. and hes like 'oh well now youre putting me on the spot..' and i just kinda laughed and said 'well come on now, dont beat around the bush. just say whatever you wanted to say! =)' so thats what he said [previously in paragraph] and i didnt know what to say except 'well i guess we should hang out soon shouldnt we?' he agreed - of course.
somewhat of a background. we havent hang out since december bc i got busy doing things and we have different work shifts. so if i do see him its bc i went in while he was working and hung out with everyone there for awhile. so i saw him like twice in a month. so i was starting to think 'well maybe we wouldnt work out.. bc our schedules are like this' and 'maybe i misunderstood his feelings,etc'
but after last night im kinda floored.
im not sure im up for a relationship yet. im kinda scared.
i told an old friend about this, not as detailed, and he said 'sounds like you are ready if youve been 'into' him for awhile. honestly id say go for it. i know youre afriad of getting hurt- but what happens if you miss out on something thatd be potentially great? you can be scared, bc you know what its like to get hurt-bad. but dont be afraid of trying again. i did that and i dont ever want anyone to feel the same as i did/do'
i have to say- he boosted my spirits about this. i feel like i AM capable of loving again. and i shouldnt miss out on something that [i think] would be a great experience and might turn out to be really good. i guess im back in the dating game. im tired of the sidelines.
oh i feel so exposed throwing my emotions out there.
but who the hell reads this anyway?? hahaha
=) =) =)

Saturday, 27 December 2008

slightly amazing what happens when you dont let people walk all over you. you finally stand up and kick people out of your life that shouldnt be there. invite new ones in who actually have good intentions and treat you well.
i actually feel happy. overall. i havent felt this for years. its awesome.
i dont have a lot of people i can go to. but ive got one for life and a new guy who thus far seems like a winner =P
im excited for the future now. still scared, but its not a hopeless scared like before. im afraid of whatll happy for -well good reasons. lol

and its an incredible feeling =)